A husband and wife were trying to set up a new password for their computer. Her husband put ‘mypenis’ and the wife fell on the ground laughing cause it said, “Error. Not long enough.” Intel(R) Core(TM)2 Quad CPU Q8200 @ 2.33GHz (4 CPUs) 4GB RAM HDD: 1 TB Total ATI Radeon HD 4870 1GB GDDR5 Samsung SyncMaster T220
Italians: Two Italian men get on a New York bus and take a seat behind a middle aged lady. An animated conversation takes place between the two Italians. "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses, dey come together. Den I come again. Two asses, dey come together again. I come again and pee twice. Den I comea once more." The lady looked around and angrily said, "You filthy, foul mouthed swine! In this country, we don't talk about our sex life in public!" "You coola down, lady", said the Italian. "I'ma justa tell my friend how to spella Mississippi."
European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
At one army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been cancelled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned. One soldier mused, "Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn't seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are axtremely interested in how fast we can run?"
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'
Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.
He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy.
So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.
Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and see's his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now. '
The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'
The little boy replies, 'The prime Minister is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.'
Friendship between woman: A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew about it.
Friendship between men: A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.
i like all of them, they are soo true.. like WOW where do you find them Intel(R) Core(TM)2 Quad CPU Q8200 @ 2.33GHz (4 CPUs) 4GB RAM HDD: 1 TB Total ATI Radeon HD 4870 1GB GDDR5 Samsung SyncMaster T220
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